


Easier That Way

by orphan_account



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Blood, Deception, I don't even know how to tag this thing honestly, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Threats of Cannibalism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 13:12:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4667813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki's worst fears come true when, covered in blood and kakugan blazing, he stumbles into the last person he wants to see him like that: Hide. But he's still wearing his mask, and Hide hasn't seen him since before Aogiri. Maybe there's a way to salvage this chance meeting, if he can convince Hide that he's someone else, and scare him away from the ghoul world for good.</p><p>Update: This story is permanently on hiatus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Take all these things

**Author's Note:**

> Sort of based on [a kink meme prompt](https://tokyoghoulkink.dreamwidth.org/1408.html?thread=49536%22), only not, because the prompter wanted something a lot darker and crueler and I didn't want to write that. I don't want to hurt Kaneki or Hide in this story; they've both been hurt enough. Anyway, the gist of the prompt:
> 
> "Hide runs into white-haired Kaneki in his mask and recognizes him with his powers of superior friendship even though literally nothing matches the previous Kaneki (different build, different hair, face not visible, etc). Kaneki can't believe it and does everything in his power to pretend he's someone else."

Kaneki winced as he fell against the wall of the darkened alley, letting himself finally relax.

Going out without Tsukiyama, Banjou, or the trio had been a mistake, he realized too late. He'd thought this mission would be simple, easy enough for the now infamous Eyepatch to handle without even needing to fight. But he'd underestimated the foolishness of that gang.He scoffed, then flinched when the sudden movement caused a fresh pain in his side. He pressed his hand into the wound to staunch the bleeding some, and cursed himself for the umpteenth time that night. He was never going out without backup again, no matter how confident he was.Now he was stuck here waiting for his wounds to slowly heal. He couldn't go back to their home like this, covered in injuries after he'd assured Hinami that he'd be completely fine, that she had nothing to worry about.He felt his ribs shift back into place, and sighed in relief. The worst of his wounds were nearly healed, and it wouldn't be long now before the rest followed suit. Then he could finally head home and shower, clean off the heavy stench of blood covering him and --A sudden noise brought his attention back to the moment, muscles tensing and preparing for another confrontation. But when his eyes fixed on the figure at the end of the alley, on the bicycle and the spikey blonde hair and the headphones slung around the figure's neck, and Kaneki wanted to scream.No. No, no,  _no._  Hide shouldn't be there. What was he  _doing?_  What if the wounded ghoul he'd stumbled across in this alley had been someone else? It was dangerous in this ward, and why was Hide even here? The only reason he would have to come here was --Kaneki's stomach plummeted. What if Hide was looking for him? What if he was here because he'd picked up some trail Kaneki had left behind, leading him here, so close to Kaneki's new base.He couldn't allow that to happen. He couldn't allow Hide to find him, to involve himself in Kaneki's life. It was too dangerous."Hey, are you okay? Are you injured?" a soothing voice asked.Kaneki's gaze snapped back up. Hide was closer now. He'd propped his bicycle against the wall at the entrance of the alley, and he had taken a few tentative steps forward while Kaneki was panicking. But he froze when Kaneki's kakugan fixed on him, eyes widening as he stared back."Is that --" Hide's shocked voice trailed off, and Kaneki felt a spark of hope. Hide had realized he was looking at a ghoul.Hide didn't recognize him, Kaneki thought desperately. His mask covered most of his face, and he hadn't seen Hide in months. He wouldn't know about his hair, or the change in his build. And Hide didn't know he'd become a ghoul. Hide should still remember him as that thin, black-haired, shy  _human_.An idea was forming, and as much as he didn't like it, it seemed like the only way to keep Hide safe.He'd pretend to be just another ghoul. He was already wearing his mask. He just had to slip back into the role of a monster. And maybe if he scared Hide enough, he'd never come back to this area again. He'd stay safe, far away from Kaneki and far away from the ghoul world.Kaneki struggled to stand, leaning against the wall for support, leaving a smear of blood as he rose to his feet. "I think," he replied gruffly, keeping his voice deep and hoarse, "you've gotten yourself into some trouble, human."He watched Hide tense, but hold his ground.Kaneki sauntered forward, still off balance and dazed from his injuries. He watched Hide's Adam's apple move as he swallowed, still frozen in place. Kaneki chuckled darkly and stopped a few feet away. He tilted his head back, staring down his nose at Hide, and let his eyes wander up and down the human's body."You look like you taste good," he leered, bringing his gaze back up to Hide's face. His features were blank, set in stone and unreadable.He took another step forward, close enough to reach out and touch him now, but still Hide didn't retreat. Kaneki frowned behind his mask. He needed to try harder.He leaned forward and inhaled, letting his eyes slip closed as he made a show of savoring Hide's scent. "You  _smell_  good," he added, and god help him, it wasn't a lie.He opened his eyes, and saw that Hide had tensed. His hands were balled into fists at his sides, and his jaw was clenched tight. That was progress, Kaneki told himself, and took another step closer."Don't you have any sense of self-preservation?" Kaneki taunted, leaning closer. "Shouldn't you be trying to escape?"Still, Hide remained frozen in place, watching Kaneki carefully as he took a final step forward, so close now that Kaneki could feel the heat radiating from Hide's body, could see his pulse racing just beneath the skin of his throat.Kaneki leered, and extended his hand slowly towards Hide. He traced his fingertips along the hem of Hide's shirt, leaving bloody imprints everywhere he touched. Kaneki frowned -- he'd nearly forgotten he was still covered in blood from his earlier fight. But maybe he could use that to his advantage.He curled his fingertips under Hide's shirt, carefully watching for a reaction. When he got none, he slipped his hand underneath the fabric, pressing his bloody palm flat against Hide's stomach.Hide inhaled sharply, stomach muscles fluttering beneath Kaneki's touch, and Kaneki smirked. It seemed like he was finally getting through to Hide how much danger he was in -- or, could be in, if the ghoul caressing him had been anyone but Kaneki.He raised his hand slowly, leaving a sticky trail of blood up Hide's abs as he lifted his human's shirt. The sight of blood on Hide's tanned, unmarked skin made Kaneki's mouth water. He pressed his fingertips into Hide's stomach, nails just barely pricking the skin, and Hide shuddered."You're lucky I've already gorged myself tonight. Fortunately for you, I'm not hungry." A lie. He was injured, body struggling to knit itself back together, and with wounds came hunger. Everything inside of him was telling him to eat, eat Hide, he was right there and he smelled so  _good,_ just eat him, eat him  _eat him._ He trailed his hand higher, smearing more blood across Hide's skin, up to his chest. He could feel Hide's heart pounding just beneath his palm, and Kaneki felt a rush of power that left him nauseous, disgusted with himself. He really was a monster, and it only cemented that he was making the right decision, scaring Hide away to keep him out of Kaneki's life. Hide was better off far away from him.Kaneki leaned in again, resting his face in the crook between Hide's neck and shoulder and breathing deep. "But you smell so  _good,_  I don't know if I can resist."He suddenly pressed closer against Hide, pinning him to the wall. Hide gasped as the air was knocked out of him, hands coming up instinctively to grasp at Kaneki's clothes.Kaneki brought his other hand to Hide's throat, fingers circling it lightly, and his heart sped when he heard the way Hide's breath caught in response.He squeezed lightly and -- was that his imagination, or had Hide leaned forward, pushing his throat harder into Kaneki's hand?Kaneki frowned and moved his hand around the back of Hide's neck to tangle his fingers in the hair at the base of Hide's skull. He knew he was leaving another trail of blood -- he could smell it, a sweet metallic scent that caused his body to heat, and somehow sharpened Hide's own delicious scent.Kaneki hummed into Hide's collar, then pulled back to meet his eyes again. "Do you mind if I have... just a bite?" he drawled, extracting his hand from Hide's shirt and reaching up to unzip his mask.The fingers of his other hand tightened in Hide's hair, pulling his head back and baring his neck. Kaneki leaned closer, a hair's breadth away from Hide's skin. He could feel the warmth emanating from Hide, could almost taste the blood rushing just beneath the skin.His free hand trailed down Hide's body to settle at his hip, gripping tightly. Kaneki leaned in, opening his mouth to drag his teeth across Hide's throat, moving even closer, pressing Hide harder against the wall with his body as he tried to fight the haze of desire and hunger building inside him.There was something pressing into his thigh, and Kaneki's mind turned trying to figure out what it was. He trailed his lips down Hide's neck and sucked gently, trapping flesh between his teeth and biting down --A broken sound escaped Hide's lips and his hips jerked forward, and Kaneki flew backwards, suddenly terrified to be touching him.Without Kaneki's body supporting him, Hide collapsed back against the wall. His face was flushed, his breathing heavy. He reached up to clasp his hand in the fabric of his shirt, as if he were desperate to have something to hold onto. His eyes were heavy lidded, but still fixed completely on Kaneki.Kaneki watched as Hide licked his dry lips, then chewed his bottom lip, and Kaneki wanted to be the one to take Hide's lip between his teeth and taste him, to pierce his fragile skin and taste the sweetness of blood on his tongue.Hide made another broken sound, as if he could hear what Kaneki was thinking, and canted his hips forward even as his hand slid lower down his stomach, drawing Kaneki's eyes down to the prominent bulge in Hide's pants and oh god everything suddenly clicked into place and Kaneki didn't know how to react. He felt overwhelmed, but he couldn't look away from Hide's eyes and the clear expression of want written on his face, and the growing tightness in his own pants was almost too much for Kaneki to comprehend.And then Hide's hand slipped lower still to graze across his crotch, eyes never leaving Kaneki. A rush of heat traveled through him to settle in his groin, and Kaneki couldn't tear his eyes away, even as Hide's hand gained more confidence, pressing down harder to palm himself through the fabric.Hide's hips jerked forward into his own touch, and his eyelids fluttered, but didn't close, eyes still locked on Kaneki's masked face as he moaned, "Haah, Kah--  _Kaneki."_  Kaneki's blood turned cold, all arousal and hunger instantly gone. He felt like he'd been dunked in ice water.He'd imagined that, right? There was no way Hide recognized him, no way that Hide knew it was him, no way that after everything he'd just done, Hide would want him like that.Kaneki shook his head, hands coming up to press against his temples as he hunched forward, mind reeling. He heard movement in front of him, heard Hide's quiet voice prodding gently, "Kaneki," and he knew he hadn't imagined it and that he had to leave,  _now._ He stumbled backwards, jerking his body upright just in time to catch Hide's hand retracting, still close enough to see the concern in his eyes, and then Kaneki was gone, running, moving as quickly as he could away from that alley, away from Hide.Because for all that had happened that night, the worst part was what Kaneki didn't see when Hide looked at him.Kaneki was a monster, and it had never been clearer than tonight when, still covered in the blood of ghouls he'd murdered, he threatened to eat his best friend, and he'd  _wanted_  to do it.And then Hide had seen right through his act and his disguise, and that terrified Kaneki more than anything else.Because Hide saw him, saw who he really was. But when Hide looked at him, at the monster Kaneki had become...There was no fear in Hide's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't write a lot of fic and I'm sure that's obvious, but I really wanted to write this for some reason. ~~I'm thinking of continuing this and making it a two-part oneshot, but we'll see.~~ I really want to write more of this, so I will definitely be continuing.
> 
> Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
> 
> Edit: Oh my god! 80 kudos and 500 views already?! I only posted this yesterday! Thank you all sooo much! Wow I never imagined so many people would be interested in this story. Thank you to everyone who's read this and left kudos!


	2. Bury them fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is ending up much longer than originally intended. I think there's only going to be two more chapters but honestly who knows at this point.
> 
> Anyway this chapter is pretty much just mutual pining. Just. Lots of pining and angst and frustration.

When Kaneki arrived home, only Banjou was waiting for him in the living room.

He glanced up from the television and gave Kaneki a look up and down, assessing damages, then raised a brow, prodding Kaneki gently with the silent question.Kaneki shook his head, and turned to head up the stairs. He didn't want to talk to anyone right now.Banjou shrugged, looking concerned but unwilling to pry against Kaneki's wishes, and turned back to his movie.Kaneki was grateful, and slipped away quietly to the bathroom. He peeled off his clothes and his battlesuit, both still sticky and wet with blood, and dropped them into a small trash bag from the container sitting in the corner, just for this purpose.He frowned, disgusted with the life he was living that he had to plan for coming home covered in blood. He looked down at himself, body still streaked with red, and his stomach twisted in hunger and revulsion. He turned the knob of the shower and stepped into the spray of water, suddenly desperate to be clean, as if he could wash away everything that happened tonight. Tonight had gone wrong in every way imaginable. First he'd been attacked by a veritable swarm of ghouls, trying to eliminate the infamous Eyepatch who was causing them so much trouble. And because he had no backup, he didn't want to risk sticking around to eat and heal. He'd been stuck traveling through the ward alone and injured. And then... Hide.Kaneki fought down another wave of nausea at the thought of what he'd done. If Hide didn't hate him for disappearing before, he definitely did now. Now that Kaneki had tried to terrify him, and threatened to eat him. Now that Hide knew Kaneki was a ghoul. 

But the way Hide had looked at him tonight made Kaneki doubt in the worst way.

Hide hadn't looked afraid, or even angry. When their eyes met, all Kaneki saw was want.That thought scared him more than the thought of Hide hating him. He'd come to terms with that possibility a long time ago, and could console himself with the knowledge that if Hide hated him, he would stay away, and he'd be safe.But if Hide wanted him. If Hide had seen him, covered in blood and showing his worst, inhuman side, and had still wanted him. That thought was even worse.Because Kaneki couldn't protect Hide from himself. Especially not if that was exactly what Hide wanted.Kaneki tried to tell himself it wasn't true, that Hide didn't want him. But the vision of Hide staring up at him, flushed and panting and touching himself and moaning Kaneki's name -- the image was burned into Kaneki's mind forever.Even now, Kaneki could see it clearly, and could still remember the way Hide felt against him, arousal pressed against his thigh, hips jerking forward of their own accord.Kaneki closed his eyes, then turned another knob on the wall. The water chilled rapidly, and soon had Kaneki shivering.But the cold water did nothing to calm the burning in Kaneki's stomach, a mixture of arousal and disgust.He shuddered, and tried to forget.

 

 

* * *

  
Hide collapsed onto his bed, letting his arms spread out at his sides, and stared up at the ceiling.

The cold air bit into his skin, still wet from his shower, but he couldn't muster the energy to put on more than a pair of boxers.He reached up to brush his damp bangs from his face, then let his arm flop back down onto the bed.Hide couldn't stop running through his encounter with Kaneki over and over, replaying every detail again and again. He'd hoped getting home would help, but even freshly showered with his bloody clothes thrown out, all traces of Kaneki's touch washed away, Hide could still feel him.The sensations were burned into his memory forever, the feeling of Kaneki's body pressed up against him, hard and hot and pinning him in place.Hide's hand slid up his stomach, fingertips tracing the path Kaneki's hand had traveled, and Hide shivered. His skin still buzzed where Kaneki had touched him. He could almost feel it again: Kaneki's palm pressed against his chest, the warmth of Kaneki's hand and the sticky residue of drying blood his touch left behind.Hide knew he shouldn't find that exciting. He should be disgusted that Kaneki had smeared blood across him. Blood that in all likelihood belonged to people who were dead now. But instead of fear or revulsion, Hide felt alive.He was there with Kaneki after all that time, and Kaneki was touching him the way Hide thought he'd only experience in his dreams, and the blood was a reminder of how much strength Kaneki held at his fingertips -- fingertips that were digging into his skin, that could so easily tear him apart. Hide felt vulnerable, exposed, and he knew that's what Kaneki was trying to make him feel, and the thought only excited him more. Because Hide knew without any doubt that Kaneki would never use that strength against him, and he had nothing to fear.Hide's hand continued to trail up his body, following the shadows of Kaneki's touch until it reached the base of Hide's neck. He drew in a shuddering gasp, his other hand fisting desperately in the sheets beside him, because  _g_ _od,_  the way Kaneki's hand had slipped around his throat. Hide had never considered that he'd be into that kind of thing, but here he was, sliding his hand around his neck and imagining Kaneki, and fuck he was  _leaking._  A wet spot had formed in his boxers and Hide flushed with embarrassment even in the privacy of his room.But he couldn't stop, not now that he was at the best part. he bared his neck, remembering vividly the way Kaneki had touched him next. The way Kaneki's breath ghosted over his neck before he'd dragged his teeth across the flesh and bit down and  _fuck_  Hide was hard as a rock and arching into the air now, hips moving automatically, searching for some kind of friction.He remembered the electricity that sparked through him when Kaneki's teeth sank into his neck, the way his hips thrust forward then too.And then the way Kaneki instantly pulled back, startled but not yet scared away. The way Kaneki stared as Hide touched himself, so wrapped up in the moment that he couldn't resist. Especially not with the way Kaneki's eye burned into him, or the mirrored arousal he saw growing as Kaneki watched him.And then. Then Hide had broken the spell that held him there, and had sent Kaneki fleeing without a word. A vision of Kaneki's face at that moment, eye wide with panic, flashed across Hide's mind. Hide felt like he'd been dunked in ice water, suddenly shivering, now acutely aware of his loneliness and shame.Hide groaned, and brought his hands up to hide his face.He finally found Kaneki, after all those months of searching, and he'd blown it.He lowered his hands to stare at his ceiling again and ran over everything in his head, thought of everything he'd done wrong to ruin that reunion so completely.He shouldn't have been so forward after Kaneki pulled away. He was obviously nervous, and Hide had just scared him away by being so brazen. Kaneki had initiated things, but Hide knew how skittish Kaneki was, and should have known better than to push.Or maybe Hide should have called out Kaneki's name when he first noticed him crouched in the dark. Maybe Kaneki wouldn't have done... whatever it was he did and clearly regretted. But then, maybe Kaneki would have just fled anyway.Hide frowned. That scenario sounded most likely.Hide had tried to show Kaneki that he knew who the masked ghoul pressed against him was, and that he liked what Kaneki was doing, and didn't care that he was a ghoul. But if Hide knew Kaneki, he knew that his friend was probably still blaming himself and thinking that Hide thought he was a monster.Hide's frown deepened. He was even more determined than ever to find Kaneki so he could sit him down and explain that he didn't care about any of that.But how would he find Kaneki again? He'd stumbled across him completely by accident.Hide went over their encounter again, this time searching for any details that might give him a hint on where to start his search.Kaneki had been behaving strangely, talking to Hide as if he didn't recognize him, even though he clearly did. Hide frowned, raising his hand to scratch behind his ear. Why would Kaneki pretend not to know him?Maybe he thought Hide hadn't recognized him, Hide suddenly realized. Because he hadn't, not at first. He'd seen a figure crouched in an alley and had been concerned, but hadn't realized it was Kaneki until he'd gotten closer, close enough to see in the dim lighting, and until Kaneki had met his gaze. The moment their eyes met, Hide knew it was Kaneki in front of him. Even with the white hair and the weird clothes, and the -- the kakugan. Kaneki's eye was still recognizable, even if it was no longer the calming grey color Hide knew.And when Hide had realized that, the rest clicked into place. The way he'd looked at Hide, the way he held himself when he stood, the way he moved  -- it all screamed Kaneki. But, Kaneki had clearly thought Hide hadn't known. Which brought Hide back to the question, why the act?Kaneki had been trying to scare him, Hide knew. For what purpose? To keep him from going out at night when ghouls were most active? To keep him away from the ghoul world in his search for Kaneki? Or to keep him away from that specific area?If Kaneki was living nearby and didn't want Hide to find him, it would make sense that he'd try to scare Hide away instead of just running.That must be it, Hide thought, the beginnings of a plan forming already. He knew how to find Kaneki.

* * *

Nearly two weeks had passed since the Incident, and Kaneki hadn't caught any signs of Hide nearby in that time.He supposed he should be grateful. But the thought did nothing to calm the gnawing feeling in his stomach that returned every time he thought of his best friend.That night still haunted him, replaying itself every night in his dreams, leaving him sweaty and breathless and hard when he awoke. It still crept into his waking thoughts, striking at any moment, putting him on edge, uncomfortably aroused and ashamed.Like now, when he was trying to read a new book in the rare peace of an empty home, but all he could think of was the way Hide's voice sounded when he moaned Kaneki's name --Thankfully, he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a doorbell echoing through the house.Kaneki glanced across the room at the front door. Banjou and the trio weren't due back until the evening, and Tsukiyama had only just left with Hinami. Could she have forgotten something?The doorbell sounded again and Kaneki closed his book, then placed it on the small table beside the couch. He rose to his feet, stretched, and padded over to the door.He pulled open the door, smile ready to greet Hinami, but it fell flat when he realized who was standing in front of him.Kaneki froze, stunned into shocked silence, until a nervous wave and grin from the visitor knocked him back into the present."Hide, what are you doing here?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank you all so much for all the kudos and comments you've left, and for reading this story at all! I'm amazed every time I look at the stats for this story. Thank you so much!


	3. Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Authors note.

I'm sorry to disappoint but I'm not going to be writing any more to this story unless some kind of miracle happens I start caring about Tokyo Ghoul again. I've lost interest in the series, so every time I try to write this, I just feel bored and frustrated.

Sorry to everyone who was waiting for more from this story, but I wanted to let the people who were subscribed know so they could unsubscribe. This story is never getting finished.

Thank you to everyone who left comments and kudos. I'm so grateful to all of you, and I'm sorry I can't deliver a better ending to this story.


End file.
